Thoughts, links, and project updates

I just got through watching “Andy Warhol Diaries”. It was very dark and depressing, but I enjoyed learning about him. He was a spokesperson for Commodore in the 1980s, something I was not aware of… I didn’t know he even existed at that point in life. Even with all of his success, he was still insecure and depressed most of the time. He worried a lot. He did not die from AIDS, like a lot of people, including myself, thought… But from complications from gallbladder surgery. Two of his brothers successfully sued the hospital and doctor…

I’m watching “I’m Scared Of Spending the Rest of My Life Alone | Age of Loneliness | Only Human on YouTube”  They are talking to a 100 year old woman who says she is lonely and that she’s afraid of dying alone. The interviewer asked how she could be feel alone since she has so many children and grandchildren. They are interviewing people who have lost their partners as well. They interviewed all ages.

one young woman 39 years old said that she has tried internet dating but it was just another platform to get rejected on. She said that it’s exhausting to stay on there and she thinks its better just not to be on there.

One man said he dreads every night going to bed alone.

One guy who was 42 says he starts his day about 4pm, plays video games and goes to bed about 330am. He lived in a small apartment by himself. He said he would love if someone would knock on his door to visit.

The end of the program was very sad. A widow whose husband had died and had no children died 5 weeks after they interviewed her. She died alone in her home.

I swear, I just don’t know about life. I hate to see people suffering in this world, I really do. I have to limit my intake of this. But it helps me to realize how short and fleeting life really is.

I can’t let this happen to Mom. I worry about her being alone or feeling alone. I get mad at her and say mean things and I always regret it. I want to see Henry but I also hate leaving mom.

I watched “Life In A Crack House | US Gang Exposed (Crime Documentary) | Real Stories”
This really bothered me. I hate seeing people suffer and struggle. A lot of them said they didn’t expect to live long so they wanted to be happy the short time they were here. I also heard people say the same thing in a 1960’s documentary about poverty in Chicago. It really depressed me to watch both. They put cameras in a drug house and watched them for six weeks…
24/7.